Today I had a panic attack. by Alise Hardy

I am amazed by the ignorance of my teenage self for thinking that one day I might look back and see my ongoing battle with mental illness as glamorous. Now, as an adult who is a lot closer to thirty than to nineteen, stopped in my car in the middle of a main road holding up traffic, with the intrusive eyes of passers-by watching me shake and cry, I envy the wide-eyed younger . Not only because it was then that I had a flatter chest, but also because I viewed my days of debilitating anxiety as temporary. I planned my life as though it would begin when I finally grew out of it. But, this adult now 100% understands that those days wasted to fear and loathing will remain, probably forever. And, speaking frankly, that really f***ing sucks

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